My Baby girl learned to pump her legs!!

I’ve been missing, I am back. And I am excited!  More on the last year and a half a little later….

My baby girl turned me into the crazy mom that thinks her child is brilliant and magical and the most fascinating person on this terrific planet, today! She did that in TWO tiny little motions. She pumped her legs forward and then she pumped them backwards ON THE SWING!  Do you know what this means?!  Not only is she a genius and smartest 4 year old in the world but mommy does not have to push anymore ; )

In all seriousness – my first thoughts were not “Is she doing this in time?  Is she the last/first kid to do this in her class?  Is this an academic milestone?!”  Nope. My first thought was “My baby girl has figured out how to FLY!!  My little girl has figured out the joy in swinging for hours!”  (she was our there for 45 minutes just enjoying her latest talent!! And if her chicken nuggets were not waiting for  her – who knows how long she would have been out there for!!??) My heart is FULL for her and for the smile that this milestone brought to her face!  I called Nana to tell her and Regan told her to come right over so she could show her!  We took a video, we laughed and we cheered her on!  And then I looked at my baby girl – who did not look like a baby girl anymore!  She looked like a little girl who just found the best secret in the world!  How to swing!  All by herself!  And that smile meant more to me than anything in this world!  She was full of pride and her mommy was just as full as she cheered her on!

This little girl amazes me and surprises me every single day!  Thank you for letting me share it with you!!

I’m a mommy mess.

So I went to a parent “let’s review the pre-school handbook” meeting tonight with hubby. I actually think it is a brilliant idea – thought up by the lead teacher and owner of the school.  NO surprises for mom, dad or kids. Put it all out there before the school year begins. The lead teacher has been doing this for 25 years and you can immediately tell – she knows what works for each big, and little, person involved – and I am grateful for that. No surprises = happiness in our little world.

On a side note – did I have to hold back tears telling the teacher that I might put R’s “woobie” (AKA blanket) in her backpack (oh my God, it is time for my baby to have a backpack!) just in case she needs some comfort (AKA a “woobie hit”) throughout her new experience at preschool?! Yes. Yes. And yes.

Then I came home to two crazy articles on facebook.  Two amazing articles that I want to remember, learn from and teach to R in years to come.  I am actually posting both articles – mostly for me – just so I can remember what I might need to remind my daughter of – someday – a day that is hard for me to even imagine. But I want to have the right words to tell her – before I duct tape her to the wall for doing something stupid. Maybe something just as stupid as her mom once did.

My favorite paragraph from the first article? This:

“If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks. I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn’t hangout like an overheated hound dog. I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.”

Here is the full article: Dear Daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you

The second article was posted by a good friend who has coached many kids (including me!) It is a total opposite of the article above, but with another good message  – but the message was more for the PARENTS than for the kids.  It talks about how much the adults, and the parents, are a part of the children’s future in the sports that they play; and how it is the PARENTS that make the difference.  And it is another “something” that I will remind myself, and my husband, in the years to come.  My favorite line in this article?  Here you go: how about just saying “I love watching you play out there”

Here is the full article: The Real Reason Why Our Kids Quit Sports

God this parenting thing is tricky, and emotional, and rewarding, and such a game of faith – but with other parents out there to support one another – and to encourage one another – maybe we can make it work and raise great kids together! Here is a little remind – we are not perfect, our kids are not perfect (wait. WHAT?!!?) but together we can do “pretty ok” for each child out there.

I am so grateful to my friends that help to make ME a better parent and to those friends who are just trying to do the best job that they can for their kids and their families.   I’m here to tell YOU that YOU are doing such an amazing job!  Keep up the good work!  I am behind you 100%!

We really DO love Church!

I love taking R to church.  When I was pregnant I would sit in the back pew, me and my belly, and I would soak in all the beautiful music that was played for that one hour, in our beautiful church. I would put my hand on my belly and pray that she felt the music and she could hear it and that she would love it as much as I did.

We live in a very small town so the other “church patrons” saw my growing belly and were so welcoming to us both.  So when she was born I could not wait to take her into the church (again) and let her hear the same music she heard while she was in my belly (yes, I believe she could hear it and that she could feel it.) The first couple of weeks she was here I wrestled with many hormone “challenges” and I could drop into a puddle of tears in one single instant.  My mom even said “You can not go to church right now.  You will burst into tears and everyone will think something is wrong!”  But by week three I was ready, and so was R!  So in we went, to the same seat that I (we) sat in when I was pregnant and it-was-AMAZING!  I was in my favorite place, in a warm, welcoming church with love and beautiful music all around us! And I was grateful! : )  Miss R was even introduced to the congregation on that day as well!  The Reverend – a fantastic friend of our who had married us, blessed hubby’s boat before his first trip, and who brought Miss R her first bible in the hospital – unexpectedly, introduced her to the congregation. (on a side note:  A wonderful couple from our church came over the first Sunday that R was born and brought us the flowers that were a part of the altar on that Sunday.  It was such a gift and those flowers will still be a treasure in years to come!)

SO fast forward to now – almost three years later (and one baptism when she was 8 months old) we went into church this past Sunday.  Now – we have been there since, many times.  Sometime we spend the sermon outside on the steps or we have a quick run-around downstairs near the piano, but we always *try* to stay for the music. I haven’t put her into daycare or Sunday School only because I want her to actually experience the music and the stories and the whole bunch of “stuff” church has to offer.  Again – side note – I am not a crazy religious freak (not so PC, but that’s the truth) but I do have faith and I do believe in a higher spirit and I hope that, as she grows, she will too.

OK – so, in the past couple of weeks Miss R  had been taking the novel that I was reading and opening it up and humming saying that “she was at church” so I took this as my cue and said “we are going back!”  – we had been naughty church go-ers and blew it off for the summer, sorry! Anyway – off we went – into the church we go – anddddd she was the ONLY child there. We were it. In the third pew (every other pew was being hogged by two people taking up the whole row) Now, I will be the first one to tell you when my child is crazy, out of line, fantastic or naughty. Well, friends….she kicked that church services butt! She was amazing (except for the two grapes that rolled into the pew in-front of us and that I didn’t have the heart to tell the cute older couple – who couldn’t hear us anyway – about.)  She sat with her mommy, she sang from the hymn book (ish) she ate all the bribery food I brought her and she showed her baby dolls all the fun they could have in a church pew!  My heart was bursting!  Untillllll….THIS happened:

The church was quiet and a larger women got up to sing a solo – and she had Miss R’s full attention.  What did Miss R say?  She said “Mommy, she is a princess!  Look at  her beautiful dress!” and then the women sang and Miss R was mesmerized. She loved everything about that beautiful women – her dress and her beautiful voice.  She did not see one flaw in her.  She did not see that she might have been a little bit heavier that others – all she saw was beauty.  That was it.  BEAUTY! And my heart exploded!

Now here is my question to you – how do I keep her SEEING that beauty in herself (when she might not like her square body that she inherited from her mommy or her short legs – Sorry, daddy) How do I keep my daughter seeing the beauty in women that comes from a song, or from her smile, or from her kindness?  How do I teach her to be that girl who accepts herself – and others – for ALL the beauty that they have?!

I can tell you that many ladies in our church try to get me to send her to the daycare or to Sunday school – which are both AMAZING at our church – but how do I get them to understand that it is the actual SERVICE that I wish for her to experience?  The worship, the faith, the love and – of course – the music?! I’m going to keep working on this and maybe even put a sign on her that says “let me enjoy all the beauty” – or it might just say “Shush it!” like she says to her dad and me. : ) We’ll keep on working on that………

I want to be cheered on – Is that wrong?

I do. I want to be cheered on for this “mothering” thing.  And I want my hubby to be the one holding the friggin pom poms. 

Back story:  Sunday night we had a fantastic Sunday Supper with our family, outside, by the beach – yay summer – Right!? Except that mosquitoes find my little R to be as tasty as a big, yummy steak and, little Miss sensitive skin, is left with swelling and redness that almost looks like bruising. I would like to torture those little buzzing ass faces like I was tortured last night from 11:30 pm – 2:30 am (while she was scratching and hurting and making me feel bad (well I was making myself feel bad that I couldn’t help her – but it is so much easier to blame others ; ) that I could not do anything to help her.  At one point I actually had my toothpaste tube in her room as I was slathering on the minty smelling paste to help stop the itch – praying for an itch relief miracle) and then I would feed those f*ckers to Bruce.  Not that he would eat them because – believe it or not – he has better taste than those buzzing, blood sucking, make everybody scratchy and cranky – jerks. OH – he will jump around the room trying to eat them, which is hilarious, but I am pa-retty sure he wouldn’t eat one – no, I am not sure about that at all……Anyway – it didn’t make it any easier that hubby was sleeping soundly because – again – I was trying to be a kick-ass wife and let him sleep – well, until his alarm goes off at 4:30am so that he can go to work and bring home the bacon so that I am able to stay home with my baby. You can see where my confusion lies, can’t you?  “Honey, thank you so much for letting me sleep while all the itchiness was going down – even though I wake up at 4:30 am to go work my ass off on a fishing boat.”  he doesn’t say that – this is my very own conversation in my head. Lets be real – if you are suffering with a two year old for three hours in the middle of the night – you want someone there being tired and miserable with you.  Um – remember that whole “for better or for worse” thing?!  Yeah – so do I.

SO today I wanted a flippin parade when hubby got home from work, telling me what a terrific, loving, fixer-of-all mother I am!  YAY ME! (before I go on any further I do have to say that I am a very lucky girl in the support department.  Hubby does cheer me on – although, not a parade, but some days it is close. But a girl can still want more, right!??)  I did get a “you girls must be tired today!” and then we all had a good snooze, even Brucie.  But do not even get me started on tonight’s bed-time craziness!  More of the same – but I have decided that pom poms and a big old “GO get ‘um Honey!” would be almost as helpful as the wine I am drinking right.this.second. Almost.

Another added note:  My mom asked “How did  you finally get her to sleep?”  my answer? ” I prayed.” I said.  “I just prayed that the dear Lord would find mercy on me (oh! and my poor scratching baby, too! Geez, of course I added her in there!) and help her to get some non-scratchy sleep.” 

It worked. Thanks be to GOD, right?!

And I also realize that there are about 20 run on sentences and miss quotations and commas.  I am sorry – or as my nieces say “sorryboutit” : )

Happy non-scratchy sleep to you!!

Get off my ARSE

Seriously.  I love reading my past blogs.  I am HILARIOUS! ; ) Well, in MY world I am totally hilarious!  Seriously, I do love reading all about the things that I have tucked away in my head (behind all the “What if she isn’t potty trained before preschool?  Did I tell “so-in-so” THIS today?  Was I a jerk to hubby last night?  What the heck are we having for dinner TONIGHT?!”)  Yes – all that c-r-a-p. So here we go.  Bullet points to get you caught up and to make this posting thing seem more up to date and easier (now that I don’t feel like I need to tell you every little thing – that  really is only important to me – the crazy first time mom.)

Hold on tight:

• She calls her rain coat “Raining Jacket” I think it is hilarious.
• Tonight she was all about calling hubby by his first name.  As hubby was trying to hurry her up and get her to bed “Hold on Dave. I am brushing my teeth.”
• It has been a crazy summer for some reason and I keep trying to figure out why and when it will slow down.  I did get a gift of “summer time” when I had nowhere to go on Saturday and spent it on the beach with Miss R and my niece and my mom and sis and friends.  A gift, for sure, and a good reminder to enjoy the day.
• Bruce, our hairy 110lb dog is funny and a love and a trooper during this heat. (even when he is following me, barking at the dogs outside and eating anything Miss R has left for less than two seconds on her plate. I am pretty sure I hear him licking something he shouldn’t right at this very moment.)
• I have gone off my anti-anxiety meds (that I went on after R was born.) I’m not sure if I feel more or less crazy than when I went on them.  These drugs can make you feel like a l-u-n-a-t-i-c.
• I love visiting with old friends. Love every second of it.  It fills me and my heart.
• My sis has a new boyfriend.  It is a bit of an adjustment for the family – even though he kicks ass and makes her the happiest I have ever seen her (except for when her babies were born – because her girls rock and they make for a happy momma!)  He loves her, supports her and he helps to make her shine – and that makes for a very happy me (who just so happens to be one of her biggest fans 🙂  )
• Hubby is fishing every.single.day.
• Living on one income is tough – but it is the one thing that I have not one single doubt about.
• I still like wine.
• I still love chocolate.
• My house looks like a two-year old tornado screamed through it and I have decided that my hubby is a slob.  And I told him so. And he agreed.  So is that half the battle?
• I’m still not ok with the new “after baby body” that I have – even though I am so grateful for the girl who blessed me with it.
• August is only days away and I can not wait.  I loved August days in Maine!  Cooler, fewer people and the yummy smell of the ocean – grateful for it all!

Time for bed.  This has sort-of gotten us caught up.  I have decided to dress up my blog and post some pics and make it all sorts of snazzy!  Wish me luck!  And follow me though it all – I love your support 🙂

Sweet Dreams!

My “1st” little one got married tonight

So my best girlfriend – partner in crime – the other half to my high school “trouble making duo” had a baby when she was 19.  Yup.  And she was so strong and she chose to do it on her own – welllll….maybe with a tiny bit of help from her besty (because we did everything else together, why wouldn’t we raise a baby together, too!?)

I remember the day “H” was born.  I was 17 and my mom helped me to check in to with hospital to see how my friend’s labor was progressing (we will call my besty “Patsy”.)  The second I heard that baby “H” was born I hopped in my sweet Nissan and drove to the hospital to be with Patsy and to meet baby H.  When I got there Patsy was alone in her room (still looking a little shell shocked – thanks to those great pain meds!) and she said “Do you want to see the baby?” I’m not sure that I got “yes!” out fast enough! I could not wait to meet this little being who was already a part of our partner-in-crime team from the time she was in her mommy’s belly! SO down the hall we went to the nursery where this tiny, little, perfect being was, in her tiny diaper,  under a heating lamp to keep her warm and cozy.  She was fantastically perfect.  The nurse said “would you like to take her back to Patsy’s room? You will have to wheel the baby there since Patsy has had a few pain meds” (Side note: I swear we tell poor “H” this part of story each year on her birthday!) so off we go, down the hall with baby “H” in the little bread basket.  This could not have been a better picture of teen pregnancy.  Patsy’s room was at the very end of the hall, baby “H” had THE squeakiest wheel on her little bucket and – as we walked down the hall, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that it was a Hallmark commercial in each and every room with moms and dads holding their new, little beings, getting ready to go to their big (insert “rich American town” here) home, with their two car garage, health plans, and big, bright future.  I’m pretty sure some of those babies were already accepted to Harvard on a full scholarship.

And there we were.

17 years old and 19 years old with this tiny little human who was counting on us not to screw things up for her. (And, by the way, we got that fear right out-of-the-way the second we got her in the room and realized that she had pooped!  We couldn’t figure out HOW she had POOPED when she hadn’t even had anything to eat!?  And where the heck were the diapers!?!? You see what this little one was up against?!)

Well – days and weeks went on.  Pasty went back to work and back to college (kind of awesome, right?!) and I was lucky enough to get to take “H” a couple of days during the week. That summer, Patsy went to a church camp and I brought “H” up to Maine with me for the week.  Which might sound crazy but it was such a special time for me to have this little girl in my world!  Here is a picture of her, during the week she stayed with me and my family!

And another – she is just hanging out with the girls….

Yes, I realize that there is a MESS of wonderful patterns happening in this picture.

SO fast forward to the next year – I was living in NH, coaching some new, ass-kickin, ski racers and working in childcare when one day this 6 ft 3 inch (just to make him happy I will say that he was smokin’ hot! If I don’t say it – he will 😉 ) football player comes in and he is like the KID WHISPERER! I’m not sure I even introduced myself and I said “you have GOT to meet my friend!!” He was adorable and sweet and he loved kids!  All win-win in my book (and let’s be serious – my friend was going to think he was delicious!)

Now – not to brag or anything, but he did, indeed, meet my friend and they JUST happened to get married – not to long after – and have three more amazing children.  That was almost 20 years ago. And another fun-fact?!  Baby “H” was born on my dad’s birthday and Patsy and Football-Kid Whisperers’ son was born on the same day, and year, as my niece.  Am I convinced these people are in my world for a reason?  I have not one single doubt.

Fast forward to now – I’m not sure where to even begin.  The thought of it just brings tears to my eyes…they are not only MY friends but they are my husband’s friends, they are the first two people to know that I was pregnant with my baby (Patsy bought me the pregnancy test) they are two people who I learn from and try to emulate my parenting by – but, most importantly they are two of my daughters favorite people (although she gave Football Kid-Whisperer a run for his money with her shyness towards men.  But now his picture is on our fridge and she says hi to “auntie Patsy and Football Kid-Whisperer” every morning!)

In just three words?  They are family.

The whole reason I started this post tonight was because baby “H” just got married today.  She met a man that she said “reminded her of HER dad” – Football-Kid Whisperer – the warm, funny, stronghearted man who raised her.  We were not able to get out to California to see the ceremony but in Patsy’s fantastic way – she Skyped me so that I could still be a part of baby “H”‘s day – and we were able to laugh and cry and still celebrate another milestone together!

As I watched Football-Kid Whisperer say his speech and then take his daughter to the dance floor for their first father/daughter dance (yes, I am crying all over again just thinking about it) I saw that baby girl and I saw a man who loves her with all of  his heart.  He was still in college when he met baby “H”, still playing football, still surrounded by college kids and college party-fantastic-ness but he took this baby girl in 100% and, not only fell in love with her mother, but fell in fatherly love with her, as well.

Need a little father/daughter wedding day pull-at-your-heart strings? Here you go:

When I started this post I wasn’t sure who I was most proud of – Football-Kid Whisperer for the amazing dad he is, for baby “H” for the beautiful, strong women she has become, or for my besty “Patsy” for the strength and love and beauty that she has a hard time seeing in herself but for what I see every single day.

So I dedicate this post to one of my very favorite families – who I love and who am so grateful for each and every day.  And – most importantly – I want to thank my friend, Patsy, who can still make me laugh the same way we did in the 8th grade.

And I will end with this – just for them:

OH MY GLOB!!!

Food Face?

Can you believe I am back so soon?!  Something hilarious happened tonight between me, my sister and Miss R and I had to blog about it.  It happened all in about 51 seconds, but I am still laughing about it 3 hours later…..

*Quick back story* my niece kicks swimming butt and she and my sister were away at a swim meet.  Also, each week we have Sunday dinner together (my parents, sister, kids, hubby and anyone else who dares to join us) so tonight my sister was showing me some great pictures that they took while in CT at the meet.  As we were laughing and talking over the pictures Miss R quietly enters the room and is standing behind my sister and me and belts out “ooohhhh MYYYYY GOOOOSHHHH!” (which actually sounds like “GAWWWSHH”) and leaned over on a chair- like she was in such awe of the picture (which I can’t even remember the one we were looking at) that she could not physically stand for one more minute and then she tilts her head back with a super-huge smile on her face, for the kicker.  It was at that minute that my sister and I looked at each other – in stunned silence – me with a wide eyed “I know. Can you believe her?” and my sister with a wide-eyed, half surprised, half shocked look. And then it happened. For one, tiny, brief mill-second my sister forgot she had cheese and crackers in her mouth and it was in that tiny little mill-second that my sister let out a quick burst of laughter. 

Oh yes.  Full mouth. Of cheese.  And possible crackers.  I had cheese in my hair and on my forehead. I was cheese face.

Cheese Face.

Come to Sunday dinner.  We promise we will not disappoint.

Happy Week Ahead!  7 days until daylight skippin’ ahead!

Today an angel graced me.

I have missed you. I have missed writing. I have so many excuses but none that are funny or anything fun to talk about. I have thought to write day after day – so many things I want to remember and this blog (I have to find a new word for blog – sounds like smog, hog, blob – anything smelly and dirty. Must find new happy word – feel free to send suggestions.) is such a fun way to do so. Well – today was a day I am forever grateful for and today is a day that I feel – with everything I have – that I was graced and that my baby was saved – by an angel.

I have a spiritual faith.  I find comfort in it. I am grateful for it.  Which is why I could write 100 blogs about my amazingly strong, full of grace friend “Toad” (she is way prettier than a toad, by the way.  Just a fun nickname – that she totally favors! ) There have been so many times that I wanted to write about her and the challenges she has faced but I was just not able to find the words. But here it is in one sentence. My friend “Toad” lost her 13 year old son to cancer this past December. It sucked. It was brutal. It was not fair. And the one word that comes to me each and every time I see her – or when I think of her – is “Grace”. She is a spirit who is filled with Grace. And her son, “little Toad” followed in her graceful footsteps. Wise beyond his years, beautiful, athletic, smart and, most importantly, kind. His heart was one of the kindest that I knew. And he shared this kindness with many (he and my niece shared a wonderful-best-friend relationship that was so fun to watch) but, most importantly to me – he was always so sweet and so warm and so gentle with my little Miss R. And she – who is very shy around boys and men – was always drawn to him when he was close by. December was a sad month for many of us, BUT it was also a month of many gifts and miracles – which “Toad” and I have shared time and time again with one another. And I have one more for her today….

I believe with my whole heart that our love ones are close and I believe that they share so many gifts with us each day – whether they are with us physically or they are in a place of love, guidance and grace (how I love that word “grace”. Go ahead and say it out-loud…I promise that, that one word will bring you a moment of wonderful calm. Go ahead – say it. Just try….you will see) we just have to open our hearts to them and to try to be aware of the love they share from a place that only they know.  So here is where my story begins:

Today, Miss R and I met up with her BFF (we will call her E.C.) and her mom (K.C.) and new baby bro (J.C) at the playground.  (A little background info – K.C. and I bonded over a horrific prenatal yoga move while in prenatal yoga together – I was about 8 months pregnant with Miss R- HUGE – and she was 6 ish months adorably beautiful, with E.C. –  and we were asked to go into this crazy “this will be great for you and the baby” move – and it was at point where K.C. and I looked at one another as if to say “Are you F*cking joking?!” – and we have been friends ever since 🙂 ) so today we were at the playground for a quick – “let’s have the girls run around in the fresh sunshine and (hopefully) get them sleepy or their naps!”  –  and fun was had by all!  Smiles, giggles, rosy cheeks – the best! So you can imagine the  joy that they expressed when we gave them the “5 minute warning”  (who does that work for anyway!?!?)  SO they wanted a last slide (on the slide that looks like the one at the water park that gives you a wedgie – you know the one) and it is also the slide that happens to be the highest one up, that you have to climb something crazy to get to, and that has 4 different ways to fall off a crazy 10 ft drop. I hate that stupid slide – and there are 2 of them, connected, right next to each other – so that each toddler can join forces and make  you believe that it is a good idea to let them slide down it – while risking life and limb to get there.) Well – E.C. was so good – and daring – and slid right down that slide (she is super cute, by the way!) and she was cheering Miss R on when she got to the bottom, just like a good BFF would! But a tired, space-shot, I-am-two-year-old-who-doesn’t-have-to-do-anything-that-i-do-not-want-to-do, Miss R -sort of stared off into space. And, God forbid you TELL her what to do –  you are SOL – AKA Shit Out of Luck – sister ! So I started to climb up this stupid metal spider-man thing as I was saying “R!  You need to go down the slide! Look!  E.C. is waiting for you! YAY E.C.!  Go Get her!” (I totally should have been a cheerleader.) And the second that R and my eyes met I knew what she was going to do – she started to back up. She started to back up – because she didn’t HAVE to go down that slide if she didn’t WANT to – to where there was NO safety wall. Nothing. I saw the look on her face when she realized what was happening – I SAW it. And in that one second I snatched her pant leg (thank you Oshkosh for your amazing overalls) and over the edge she went – but I still had the bottom of her leg. I still could see her shoe – that was still attached to her leg. I had a the hardest grip on her leg that a human could possible have – but I could still see her shoe so I knew she hadn’t fallen the 10 ft to the playground floor.  My AMAZING friend K.C. jumped over a rope climbing wall and helped to get her down (even though it may have taken and extra minute for me to let go of her “too-big” overalls) and – just before K.C. handed  her to me – she hugged my baby and helped her to feel safe and loved – the only the way a true friend, who loves your child, can.  My heart will forever be so grateful to K.C. and for her warm, loving heart and for helping R to feel safe in those moments just before I could get to her (around that stupid rope climbing craziness!)

And this is where we come back to the beginning.  When we got to the playground I realized that my friend “Toad’s” family was at the playground! (unfortunately “Toad” wasn’t at the playground today)  but  her daughter (Little Toad’s little sister) Toad’s sis-in-law and her nephew – where all there, as well!  We all had the playground to ourselves! Before the “slide” incident – we had all been laughing and the kids had been running around together! And, as K.C. and I were getting ready to round-up our troops – “Toad’s” family were getting ready to leave, as well.  So off they went…but they left an angel behind. Sweet Little Toad stayed behind with us.  I believe this, with everything that I am, that he was there and he helped me to keep Miss R safe. When I reached for her, as she was falling, it was like a fierce determination and the most unbelievable calmness – as I reached, and grabbed, her leg. It was like I knew she would be ok.

Now – lets look forward to when I got her settled in to the car and I was driving away.  I stopped the car as I was just about to pull out – and – as I let out the hugest breath of my life –  I gave thanks. That’s all. I just gave thanks.  I wasn’t sure what else to do or to say. “Thanks” was what came to my heart.  And, oddly enough – I didn’t cry (and I am a crier! Believe me!)  that is, until I replayed the whole thing to hubby – well, then, there was no stopping me. But he and I both believe that Miss R had someone very special looking out for her today.  And how lucky are we to have such an amazing soul in our lives and amazing spirit who still is with all of us.

Yes, I am a person of faith.  I like to believe that there is a power bigger than all of us.  But I am truly ok if you do not feel the same way.  I live with a man who isn’t always convinced. But I tell him that I have enough faith for both of us.  And if you want me to add you to that list too, I am happy to share my faith with you, as well

So let’s just give thanks tonight.  Just say a big “Thank You!” to the powers that be.  I know they will love it and I know your heart will love it too!

Hope you are ready for more “Wingin’ it!””

You are a great Mommy. You are doing an amazing job.

Ughhhhhh….I have so much to post about. SO much!  Vacation to Harpswell Maine (amazing!) my little side-kick turned TWO (WHAT?! How is that possible, you ask?  I have no idea.  I am baffled, as well)  and the kick-ass Warrior Dash I was lucky enough to tackle with some amazing girlfriends! But, unfortunately for you – the reader – all you are going to hear about tonight is the “two year old, separation anxiety, let’s torture our mommy, let’s tap into her crazy ‘my child NEEDS me’ anxiety”.  It’s true and I apologize now. But, hey, at least I am giving you something to read and giving you something to do instead of that “important thing” that you are supposed to be doing, right!?

(P.S. – I should be in bed because said two year old could wake at any moment and scream out “MOOOMMMEEEEE!  Momma! MOMMMMMAAAAAA!” and cause me to wake out of a deep sleep in to a full-out panic anxiety attack because it sounds like the world is actually coming to an end – this is because, said mommy, is not within a 3 inch radius of, said two year old. I swear she would crawl back in, of she could.)

SO onto the GOOD stuff!  We went on a wonderful vacation to Maine.  It was just R and I because hubby had to fish (sucky, I know.) BUT we had a full week of amazing girl time with lots of girlfriend visitors (and a few of their boys, as well) I promise to blog about our trip BEFORE next summer!

OK – on to my story – R and I shared a room, not a bed, but a room. Apparently she enjoyed having me as a roommate because, ever since we returned home she wants me in her room every-second-of-every-day. Every – flippin – second. Um, did you hear me?  My heaven sent – gift from God – sleeper (who slept from 7pm – 8am each night – with a 2 hour nap each day – ALL while putting herself to sleep) has suddenly turned into the exorcist as I try to exit her bedroom.  I remember the exact words I said to my husband, a few nights before we left for Maine, as he put her in my lap while I rocked her “This is my favorite part of the day.” Guess what?  Now it sucks. It blows. It makes me want to cry.  It also makes me give thanks to wine. Yup. It is true.

She loved her crib.  She played, talked to her stuffed friends, listened to her music…..until the night we got home from Maine, when she jumped right out of the crib to get to me. Oh noooooo. A leg over the side and a quick slide down and she had figured it out. Her new found freedom.  How do we keep her in???  Well, we didn’t.  This girl has NO fear. We even dropped the mattress to the floor of her crib and super baby still lifted herself right out. (Clearly she gets her girl-power from my side 😉 ) I’m not going to lie – I was miffed.  Hubby was like “So what do we do?” And I was like “Um…….(crickets)”

I will tell you that I have tried a number of things and I am pretty sure all of them are wrong. (Yes, I sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” ALL the way to work on day, in a hand-held tape recorder because – at one point – that is all she wanted to hear. Picture a toddler signing “More” and saying “More Song? More Song? More Song?” Did my clever plan work. What do YOU think?)  I swear she is WAY smarter than me.

So her new favorite place to sleep is the floor. She has hard wood floor in her room with a small carpet on it. This makes me nuts. NUTS! My mom always makes the coziest, comfiest beds and I would like to think that I have inherited that talent.  Apparently my 2 year old disagrees. You should SEE her bed. COM-fy! I would like to snooze in it! I guess I feel like a “good night’s sleep in a cozy bed = good sleep, healthy/happy baby.” My husband thinks I am a lunatic. He is like “She likes the floor – so let her sleep there.” I’m lovingly smacking him in the head – in my mind – as I am typing this. And, by the way, I am sending him out tomorrow, while I am at work, to get the fluffiest, area carpet for her room, so I can sleep better at night knowing that she (no matter how ugly the carpet is) is on something half comfy.  Again, yes i am crazy.

SO, we have signed up for a parenting class. Oh, just a side note, I have a degree in Early Childhood Ed. Yup. Everything I ever learned about the human child has gone right out the window, apparently, when my child came right out of me.  The parenting class was AWESOME!  Amazing!  I was enthralled! I wanted to put the teacher in my pocket and bring her home with me. (We still have 5 more weeks to go, so don’t count me stuffing her in my pocket out, just yet.)  Everyone keeps telling me that this is a stage and that “it too will pass.”  That is so good to hear but I was wondering if you could tell me WHEN it was actually going to pass?  I’d really like that information. It would be amazingly helpful to me.

On a better note? Here is the best thing about singing your baby to sleep – you get to SEE her fall asleep!  You get to see her feel cozy and comfy and safe.  And THAT is a gift.

I’m trying to be the best mommy I can be and I can honestly tell you that I have learned the most heart warming, loving, straight to the heart words that you can hear (especially when you are doubting yourself) is this one line “You are a great Mommy.  You are doing an amazing job.” That is all you need to hear.  It gives you faith in yourself and it gives you strength. And it reminded you that all your baby needs is you and that you will learn together. And, together, you will both be the best you can be.

Sweet Dreams from our house to yours!

She is a Fever Rock Star

Yup.  The first fever.  It sucked.  But it didn’t suck as bad as it could have.  And, in a weird way, it makes me so proud of my little rock star! Lets start from the beginning….

I left work on Thursday and received a phone call from my hubby on my way home.  Hubby: “I picked her up at my parents but something isn’t right.  She seems “off”.  Me: “what do you mean?! OFF?!  What do you  mean?!”  Hubby:  “You will see when you get home,  She isn’t herself and she laid on me for 10 minutes at my parents.  She woke up like this.”  Me: (about 20 minutes from home) “OK, I will be there as soon as possible!”  (Enter stupid jerks that are on vacation and who are taking over the Cape for three months, with their stupid driving skills.  By the way – these are not my friends.  My out-of-state-friends know how to drive and they are fantastic! These are jerks – that I do not know – who have Jersey plates.  Sorry.  But it is true.)  New Rule?  No panicked phone calls. I am not able to handle them. Call it a “flaw”.

I (finally!) get home and run into the house and there she is – snuggled up on the recliner with her woobies (AKA blankets) – and definitely warm.  Hubby has been trying to take her temp but we have a very fancy thermometer (stupid baby registry) that we have no idea how to use and can not find the directions to. So, after much throwing stuff around the bathroom, I find the old fashion thermometer and take her temp under her arm. 100.9 – I’m not sure what that means but I am pretty sure it is not great. Call the Dr. (yes, I am a first time mom – just want to cover all my bases) and they say to lay low for 24-48 hours and keep her drinking water (and me drinking vodka.) Now – I had plans with a wonderful friend who I see once a year – so this was my first lesson on “temp comes first” parenting, which my adorable friend already knew, seeing as she has an “almost” 3 year old and she is a pro.  She was great and was more that willing to “adjust” plans (thank you Jess!) – SO we made plans for the NEXT night.

On to Friday (the next day) morning….She slept wonderfully but when she woke up there was some definite “I feel yucky” signs.  I went in to get her and she was SO warm.  I have never felt her so warm before. My poor little pork chop.  We snuggled, had some water, laughed at Bruce and, thankfully, nanna (the big guns!) came to help. (Reason 283 why it is wonderful to have family close by.) We laid low for the day and I plopped her in for a nap around 12:15….so at 5:30 I asked my hubby “should we wake her or do we let her fight this fever?”  We popped open her door and up she got.  The good news!?  She felt MUCH cooler! YAY!  I have never been so happy to feel cold piggies!  The “not so good news? We had a very sensitive baby on our hands.

She was definitely cooler but still VERY sensitive – and when I say “sensitive” I mean “If you look at her sideways she may melt into a puddle”. I’m not going to lie – some of the phrases thrown around tonight were:

• “She is even more sensitive that YOU.” (Wait. What?!)
•  “I think I need more vodka”
• “I love the Bubble Guppies”
• “Can we put her to bed yet?!”

We did put her to bed – she is snuggled in – and hubby has gone off to bed, as well.  Me?  Well, I am off to maybe pour myself a glass of wine AND make myself a little ice cream treat.  Yup – they actually DO taste yummy together!
SO, thank you first time fever, for helping to get this mommy ready for winter. And we wish you a very Happy, Happy non-fever Weekend!!! Enjoy!